Book Review: Little Green Men, by Christopher Buckley (1999)

Little Green Men, by Christopher Buckley, 1999.

Christopher Buckley

Christopher Buckley’s 1999 novel Little Green Men does a great job at capturing the millennial craziness America experienced in those closing years of the 20^th century. The main character in Little Green Men is pundit and talk-show host John O. Banion, a typical Beltway insider who has an exaggerated sense of his own self-importance. As the novel opens, Banion has just finished grilling the President on his TV show, and he’s set to moderate the Presidential debates in the fall. 

Seemingly on the opposite end of the Washington spectrum from Banion is Nathan Scrubbs, who works for MJ-12, the top secret government organization that orchestrates all of the alien and UFO sightings in the United States. MJ-12 began during the Cold War: “The idea was simple enough: convince Stalin that UFO’s existed and that the United States was in possession of their technology.” (P.31) Eventually, the mission of MJ-12 expanded, as the leaders in charge realized the organization could prove useful in other ways: “...MJ-12 could serve another, even higher purpose: keeping the taxpaying U.S. citizenry alarmed about the possibility of invasion from outer space, and therefore happy to fund expansion of the military-aerospace complex.” (P.31) In order to keep citizens believing in aliens, MJ-12 oversees alien “abductions,” which are actually carried out by humans, called “baggers,” wearing costumes. MJ-12 has been very successful in its goals, but they deliberately don’t abduct famous people, as they don’t want to attract too much attention. But as Scrubbs drunkenly watches Banion’s talk show one Sunday morning, he impulsively decides to override the computer algorithm and authorizes an abduction of Banion. 

While practicing his golf swing one day at Burning Bush Country Club, Banion finds that his golf balls are strangely veering off into the woods at seemingly impossible angles. When he goes to investigate, he sees the flashing lights of an alien spacecraft. After he’s “abducted,” Banion spins his initial ramblings about seeing aliens as a head injury from a golf cart accident. When Banion doesn’t go public with his experience, Scrubbs orders him abducted again. After his second experience with aliens, Banion goes public in a big way about his experiences. As Banion starts talking about UFOs and aliens, he finds his image as a Washington insider ruined. As Banion’s lecture agent tells him, “You know what these groups want. The Washington insider stuff, what it’s like to have the president for dinner, what Cokie Roberts smells like. And you give them The War of the Worlds.” (P.69) But just as Banion’s wife and Washington friends dump him, the UFO community embraces him, and he meets Roz Well, an attractive editor of a UFO magazine. 

What will happen to John O. Banion? Will he ever command large lecture fees again? Will his new TV show Saturday, which focuses on UFOs and aliens, become as big a hit as his old TV show, Sunday? Will he ever be able to consummate his relationship with Roz? Will he be able to discover the truth about who’s behind all of the alien abductions? Will his “Millennium Man March” on Washington be a success or a resounding failure? For the answers, you’ll have to read this entertaining satire. 

Christopher Buckley is a satirist with deadly aim, and his arrows all hit their targets in Little Green Men. There are wonderful little jokes strewn about throughout the novel, like how Banion’s book about the welfare state is called Screwing the Poor. The sponsor of his TV show Sunday is an electric company called Ample Ampere. As Banion’s TV show Saturday debuts, Buckley writes, “Except for the name, time slot, announcer’s voice, theme music, set, graphics, guests, and sponsor, Banion’s new television show was just like his old one.” (P.139) If you find these jokes funny, you’ll be positively delighted with Little Green Men.

Book Review: "The White House Mess," by Christopher Buckley (1986)

"The White House Mess," by Christopher Buckley, 1986.

Christopher Buckley’s first novel was the very funny political satire “The White House Mess,” published in 1986. Buckley had worked as a speechwriter for then-Vice President George H.W. Bush, which no doubt gave him many of the insights that he used to create “The White House Mess.” The novel takes the form of a fictional memoir written by Herbert Wadlough, Personal Assistant to Democratic President Thomas Tucker. “The White House Mess” is a spoof of political memoirs, which is a rather narrow target. Fortunately, Buckley aims other arrows in his quiver elsewhere, and one not need be a political memoir junkie to appreciate the book. 

The book opens on Inauguration Day, 1989, (which was in the future when Buckley wrote the book) and one of the funnier episodes of the book, as outgoing President Reagan refuses to leave the White House on Inauguration Day. Wadlough asks if President-elect Tucker has spoken to Reagan. Tucker says, “He told me his back was bothering him, that he was feeling tired, that it’s cold outside, and that he just didn’t feel like moving out today.” (P.xiv) Reagan is eventually persuaded to leave when members of the staff lie to him and tell him that the Russians are attacking and that he needs to go to Andrews Air Force Base to command the operation. That excites Ronnie enough to get him out of bed.

Wadlough, our narrator, is a rather milquetoast fellow whose drink of choice is hot water. Nope, not tea. Just hot water. “I do not drink coffee or tea; in the mornings I find a nice, hearty cup of hot water soothing and stimulative of the digestive functions.” (P.5) Wadlough takes himself entirely too seriously, which makes him the perfect narrator for a satire, as he makes even the most mundane tasks sound as though he is making the world safe for democracy. 

The White House Mess refers to the White House dining hall, which is called a “mess” as it is run by the Navy. Wadlough is in charge of the Mess, and it’s through running the Mess that he exerts most of his limited power. The Tucker administration takes on some odd problems, like trying to normalize relations with Cuba, and getting the U.S. on the metric system. Of course, everything that happens during the Tucker administration is a spectacular failure. Wadlough also has to smooth over relations between Tucker and the First Lady, a former actress who is keen to restart her film career. And then there’s the situation in Bermuda, as radicals threaten the U.S. military installations there. President Tucker is soundly defeated for re-election in 1992 by George H.W. Bush.

Buckley clearly knows enough about the White House to make all of the ridiculous characters and vain egotistical posturing seem all too plausible. As Buckley said in a 1998 interview, “I read a lot of White House memoirs. They all have two themes: It Wasn't My Fault and It Would Have Been Much Worse if I Hadn't Been There.” One of the funniest ongoing jokes in the book is that all of the other former White House staffers have written memoirs as well, all with the word “power” in the title. They include: “The Outrage of Power,” “The Bowels of Power,” “Power, Principle, and Pitfall,” and President Tucker’s own memoir, “The Sorrow and the Power.” These fake titles would certainly blend in with real-life books like H.R. Haldeman's "The Ends of Power," and John Ehrlichman's "Witness to Power."

Buckley even keeps the charade of Wadlough being the author of the book going through the acknowledgements at the end of the book, which are written in character as Wadlough, who thanks Christopher Buckley, “who rendered editorial assistance in the preparation of the manuscript.”

I think that Buckley’s satire has gotten sharper as the years have gone on, and his later books have made me laugh more, but if you’re a fan of his writing, or have read too many White House memoirs, then you’ll surely enjoy “The White House Mess.”

The Films of Warren Beatty-"Lilith," starring Warren Beatty, Jean Seberg, and Peter Fonda (1964)

Warren Beatty and Jean Seberg in "Lilith," 1964. Could they be any prettier?

This is a totally appropriate patient/mental health assistant relationship. Just some good, wholesome frolicking in the barn. Nothing could go wrong here.

Peter Fonda and Jean Seberg.

Warren Beatty’s fourth movie was the psychological drama Lilith, released in 1964 and co-starring the lovely Jean Seberg in the title role. Once again, Lilith sees Beatty acting in his James Dean-influenced mumbly/confused/sensitive/angry young man mode, which he had now done in 3 of his first 4 movies. (See also, Splendor in the Grass and All Fall Down.) Lilith is another Tennessee Williams-influenced psychodrama with all of the standard elements-heavy Freudian overtones, overheated sexuality, madness, etc. (See also, Splendor in the Grass, The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone, -which was actually written by Williams, and All Fall Down.) 

In Lilith, Beatty plays Vincent Bruce, a veteran who goes back to his hometown and doesn’t quite know what to do. It’s implied that he saw combat in the military, but since the movie is set in the present time of 1964 and isn’t a period piece-i.e., set right after World War II or Korea, that must mean that he was a “military advisor” in Vietnam, although it’s never specified where he served. Anyway, Vincent decides to go to Poplar Lodge, a private mental institution, and ask for a job. He interviews with Dr. Brice (Kim Hunter) and gets a job there as an assistant. Vincent quickly becomes a confidant of Stephen, a sensitive young man played by Peter Fonda, in one of his first film roles. Stephen has a crush on Lilith, (Jean Seberg) an attractive young female patient who seldom leaves her room. Vincent is able to gain the trust of Lilith, and she agrees to accompany some of the other patients on a picnic once she learns that Vincent is going along too. Before long, Lilith develops a major crush on Vincent. Which typically might be kind of a problem, except it’s not a problem at Poplar Lodge.

The psychiatrist who runs Poplar Lodge is impressed that Vincent is able to draw Lilith out of her shell, and during a conference about her case asks Vincent, “Do you think she’s trying to seduce you?” Vincent answers, in his mumbly way, “Possibly, but it seems like more than that.” The psychiatrist then asks, “Do you ever feel inclined to accept?” Vincent responds yes. And so, instead of maybe, you know, suggesting that young, fit, super-handsome Vincent possibly spend less time unsupervised with young, stunningly beautiful Lilith, the psychiatrist just lets it go. (“Gee, maybe we should keep Warren Beatty away from the female patients…”) I guess he’s just happy that Lilith is engaging with the world more. Vincent and Lilith go on a bunch of what are basically all-day dates, and Lilith starts engaging with the world a lot more when Vincent makes love with her in a field.

Vincent doesn’t seem to be terribly conflicted about starting a relationship with Lilith, which could be a sign that he’s not in the right job. But they continue to go on a bunch of dates, including one to a proto-Renaissance Festival, complete with jousting contest-won by Vincent, of course. Vincent eventually figures out that Lilith is kind of a nymphomaniac, since she goes off to make out with another female patient in a barn, and says creepy things to little boys she meets when they’re out in public. But that doesn’t seem to change his feelings towards her. 

A couple of times during the movie Vincent sees his ex-girlfriend, Laura, around town. Laura is a very pretty brunette with striking eyes. When I saw her on screen I thought to myself, “Wow, that actress is really attractive, who is she?” Well, as I learned on imdb after watching the movie, Laura was played by Jessica Walter in her first film role. Walter is probably best known for playing abusive matriarch Lucille Bluth on “Arrested Development.” What? Young Lucille Bluth was hot? Yeah, she was. And Laura’s husband is played by a super-young, but still not that young-looking Gene Hackman, also in his first credited movie role. Hackman is terrific in his one scene with Beatty, and he definitely steals the scene from Warren, who is underacting as much as humanly possible. Fortunately, Beatty remembered working with Hackman on Lilith when he was casting Bonnie & Clyde, and cast Hackman in his breakout role as Clyde’s brother. Once Hackman leaves to go to a meeting, Laura says to Vincent, “You know how I told you I’d only really let you make love to me once I was married? Well, I’m married now.” Surprisingly, Vincent just leaves, marking this as one of the only occasions that Warren Beatty turned down sex.

Lilith is an interesting movie, and it’s well-directed by Robert Rossen, who also helmed All the King’s Men, and The Hustler. (One of his lesser films was Alexander the Great, starring Richard Burton wearing a terrible blonde wig, which I reviewed many years ago here.) Jean Seberg, the Iowa-born beauty who became a darling of the French New Wave, thanks to her performance in Breathless, gives a wonderful performance as Lilith, bringing just the right amount of vulnerability and sensuality to the part. Seberg was nominated for a Golden Globe for her performance in Lilith, losing out to Anne Bancroft for her excellent performance in The Pumpkin Eater. Sadly, the coming years would take a terrible toll on Seberg, as her anti-Vietnam War activism caused her to become a target of the FBI. The FBI set out on a campaign to embarrass Seberg, and they spread the rumor in 1970 that she was carrying the child of a prominent member of the Black Panthers. The rumor was false, but it was repeated in publications like Newsweek, and Seberg went into premature labor and her child died two days later. She sued Newsweek for libel and won. Tragically, Seberg would take her own life, overdosing on pills in 1979 at the age of 40. It was a sad end for a remarkably talented and beautiful actress.

The problem with Lilith, for me, was Warren Beatty. Vincent is a very dull character-if he weren’t played by someone as handsome as Beatty, there’s no way anyone would be interested in him. I think the character of Vincent is left extremely ambiguous-and maybe that’s the point, but for me there was too much ambiguity and not enough clarity. You never really know what Vincent is thinking. Maybe the key to Vincent is that he’s going crazy throughout the course of the movie. But if that’s the key, I think that point could have been made much better.  I think the character was poorly written, and I think Beatty was miscast in the role and didn’t do a good job. Vincent is a tricky role to play, because he’s so ambiguously written, and I think Beatty never decided how he wanted to play it. Vincent is also extremely inarticulate, even without Beatty’s mumbling and pregnant pauses and hesitant speech. Vincent’s inability to articulate anything is a problem, because Warren Beatty is above all a great talker. All of his best roles are charmers who talk a lot-so when he’s stuck with a role like Vincent, he’s wasted in the part.  

Another major problem with the movie for me is how easily Vincent oversteps his professional boundaries and starts a relationship with Lilith. The fact that Vincent tells the psychiatrist that he might have sex with Lilith and no one does anything to prevent this from happening is just wrong. I know it’s an integral part of the movie, but it’s just such a terrible decision both morally and ethically. Vincent is supposedly to be helping Lilith, not having a romantic relationship with her. He’s abusing his power by having a relationship with her.

Behind the scenes, Lilith was a very difficult shoot, and director Rossen was in failing health. Lilith was his last movie, and he died in 1966, just a year and a half after Lilith was released. During pre-production, Rossen and Beatty were on very good terms. As Peter Biskind writes in his Beatty biography, “Rossen welcomed Beatty’s participation on Lilith, treating him more like a friend and collaborator than an actor for hire. He involved him in script revisions and casting.” (Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America, by Peter Biskind, p.60) Natalie Wood, who had just ended her relationship with Beatty, turned down the part of Lilith. Beatty toured Europe trying to find actresses to play Lilith, eventually suggesting Jean Seberg, who was living in Paris. Seberg accepted the part, and later said it was her favorite role of her career. 

In an article written for Cahiers du Cinema in 1967, Jean Seberg wrote of the relationship between Beatty and Rossen: “At the outset, Rossen and he had a relationship which was strangely fraternal, very intimate, very like accomplices, even. Oddly, this relationship of intimacy stopped at the first day of filming, and from then on, it did nothing but deteriorate more and more.” (Biskind, p.60) What caused the relationship to change? No one seems to know for sure. But it seems clear that Beatty’s deliberateness and his habit of asking a million questions on the set annoyed Rossen to no end. Maybe the problem was that Rossen thought that Beatty should know how to play the part once filming began, whereas Beatty was expecting more of a continuing dialogue throughout filming about the part-which is the kind of relationship he had with Elia Kazan. One story from the set is that Beatty asked Rossen the stereotypical actor’s question, “What’s my motivation?” Rossen yelled back, “Your goddamn paycheck!” (Warren Beatty: A Private Man, by Suzanne Finstad, p.303) Beatty himself said of Rossen, “I saw he wasn’t making a good picture and told him so, which did not endear me to him.” (Finstad, p.303) Well, that would piss anyone off. Beatty also told the film critic Judith Crist that he had tried to quit the production of Lilith, and when the producers wouldn’t allow him to leave the movie; he deliberately stopped trying to act and gave a bad performance. (Finstad, p.304) I tend to believe this story, since Beatty’s performance is so lifeless. It’s a terrible thing for Beatty to have done, and despite thinking that he was getting back at Rossen, he was also wrecking his own career by sabotaging his performance. Jean Seberg wrote to a friend during filming, “Warren Beatty’s behavior is just unbelievable. He’s out to destroy everyone, including himself.” (Biskind, p.61) 

 Lilith opened to lukewarm reviews and an indifferent box office in October, 1964. When filming began in April, 1963, Beatty hadn’t worked on a film in almost a year and a half, and when Lilith was released movie audiences hadn’t seen him since All Fall Down, which had opened 2 ½ years earlier. Beatty had turned down many movies in between All Fall Down and Lilith, including PT 109, the story of President John F. Kennedy’s World War II experiences. Just before agreeing to make Lilith, Beatty was almost set to start filming Youngblood Hawke, but he never signed his contract for the movie and was fired by Jack Warner. Beatty’s next few movies after Lilith were not successful either. His star would continue to dim in Hollywood, and it looked like he might be a one-hit wonder.