Sunday, November 9, 2025

Donald Trump on The Great Gatsby: a Satire

At a recent Oval Office media event, Trump spoke about F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel: 

"The Great Gatsby. Such a wonderful book. Really beautiful. You know, it’s a small book, not very longNot too many pages. I’ve read it many times. So many timescan’t even count. English professors they say, ‘how can you read it so many times?’ But I do. That Fitzgerald is really having a great yearI’m so happy for him. He’s getting so much attention right now. I'll have to give him a call.  

And the main character, Tom Buchanan, such a great guy. Terrific polo player, fantastic house. Those polo ponies of his, marvelous animals. Beautiful beasts. A beautiful wife and an even more beautiful mistress. So great, a lot of people would say that he’s living the dream. And he’s the only person who’s worried about the Nordics being replaced. He’s the only one who sees that. He gets it. He’s the kind of guy I love seeing at Mar-a-Lago.  

But it’s such a sad book. It’s a tragedy, really. A tragedy about how Tom Buchanan’s mistress gets killed. Seeing those dog biscuits made him so sad. 

Those parties are so fantastic. You know, I’ve seen Gatsby’s house. It’s a nice house, you know, for that time, for that era, but Mar-a-Lago is much, much bigger. There’s more gold-plated things here.  

Gatsby, you know, don’t get him. Why does he throw all those shirts on the floor? Perfectly good shirts, and he’s throwing them all over the room. And a pink suit. I’ve never had a pink suit. Who wears a pink suit? Weird guy. You’ll never see me wearing a pink suit, I will guarantee you that. I guarantee you that. We have a lot of parties here, I should invite Gatsby, see if he likes the new ballroom. I think he’d like it; he’d be very, very impressed."

Trump then went on for 45 minutes about how Nick Carraway won’t make it as a bond salesman, and how he could easily beat Jordan Baker at golf. 

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