Movie Review: Dean Martin, Kim Novak, and Ray Walston in Billy Wilder's Kiss Me, Stupid (1964)

Dean Martin and Kim Novak in Kiss Me, Stupid, 1964. There's no symbolism in that really long chianti bottle Dean is holding. Sometimes a really long chianti bottle is just a really long chianti bottle.

Dean and Kim tidy up. Hey, Dean, do you have a permit for those guns?

Ray Walston as Orville Spooner in Kiss Me, Stupid.

Kim Novak and director Billy Wilder on the set of Kiss Me, Stupid, 1964.

A rare color photo of Kim Novak in the dress that she wears when she's pretending to be Zelda.

Billy Wilder’s trashy 1964 sex comedy Kiss Me, Stupid, was a film that shocked many moviegoers at the time with its raunchy subject matter. The plot is that popular singer Dino (Dean Martin) is driving from Las Vegas to Los Angeles when he stops in Climax, Nevada. (This movie is not subtle.) Gas station owner Barney Millsap (the very funny Cliff Osmond) sees in Dino his chance at fame and fortune. Barney writes songs with Orville J. Spooner, (the excellent Ray Walston) a piano teacher who lives across the street. Barney sabotages Dino’s car, forcing him to stay as a guest of Spooner’s so they will have a chance to pawn their songs to him. Dino is looking for action in Climax, as he tells Spooner that if he doesn’t have a woman every night he gets painful headaches. (John F. Kennedy once said much the same thing to British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan: “If I don’t have a woman for three days, I get terrible headaches.”) Spooner is married to the beautiful Zelda (the beautiful Felicia Farr) but he is terribly jealous of her. Zelda reveals that she’s always had a crush on Dino-she saw him driving through town, but doesn’t know he’s currently napping in their guest bedroom. So Barney concocts the ridiculous idea that Spooner should get into a fight with Zelda so she goes back to her parents, and then pick up a trollop from the Belly Button, the local roadhouse, and pass her off as Zelda. Oh, and let Dino sleep with her so he doesn’t get a headache and buys some of their songs. What could go wrong with a plan like that? 

Of course, plenty goes wrong with the plan, as Barney picks up a beautiful cocktail waitress with a heart of gold, Polly the Pistol (the delicious Kim Novak). Polly actually likes Orville, and she gets to fulfill a fantasy by acting like a wife, instead of a girl with a dubious reputation. And once Polly meets Dino she is repulsed by his smooth charm and fast moves. The irony of the movie is that when it comes time for Orville to step aside and let Dino get his action with Polly, he fights for Polly’s honor and throws Dino out of his house, thus losing his chance at selling any songs. But Orville gets to enjoy Polly for a night, as they retire to the bedroom. Meanwhile, Zelda returned home, and Barney, who is spying on the action from the porch, tells her not to go into the house. But he left out some crucial information, so she doesn’t know he’s trying to sell songs to Dino, she just thinks he’s having a great time with Polly. So of course Zelda goes to the Belly Button and gets drunk, whereupon the owner deposits her in Polly’s trailer. And where does Dino go once Orville throws him out? The Belly Button, natch. But Dino is unimpressed by the girls on duty and asks the bartender where the hottest girl is. He directs Dino to Polly’s trailer. Dino finds Zelda there and assumes she’s Polly. Zelda, although star struck by Dino, quickly figures out that he’s a jerk. When she finds out he’s not going to buy any of Orville’s songs, she uses reverse psychology, telling him that the song isn’t right for him anyway, and saying what great things Bobby Darin, Jack Jones, or Robert Goulet could do with it. Zelda and Dino spend the night in Polly’s trailer, and he leaves without a headache the next morning. But everything ends happily, as Zelda gives the $500 that Dino gave her to Polly, so Polly can buy a car and find happiness outside of Climax. Dino sings Orville and Barney’s song “Sophia” on his latest TV special, and Orville and Zelda are happily reunited, although Orville doesn’t understand what has happened. 

Kiss Me, Stupid is, well, a stupid movie. At 126 minutes, it’s far too long, and it takes way too much time to get to the setup. Too much screen time is spent on Orville’s jealousy at the beginning of the movie. If you get bored during this part of the movie, look for Mel Blanc, voice of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Porky Pig, among many others, as a dentist. Also, look for John Fiedler, the voice of Piglet, as a minister trying to get the Belly Button to close down. There’s also a super long and only sort of funny sequence where Orville is trying to pick a fight with Zelda, but she deflects everything he says. It’s kind of funny, but Orville is also an overly jealous jerk. If you see Kiss Me, Stupid, you’d better be well-versed in the pop culture of the mid-1960’s; otherwise there will be many jokes that will go over your head. Two of my favorite jokes were lines spoken by Polly. Orville tells her that she’ll flip over who the third person at dinner will be, and that he’s “very exciting.” She asks, “Who is it, Richard Burton?” When Orville reveals that it’s Dino, she isn’t excited and says, “I like Andy Williams better.” Those jokes cracked me up, but I realize they might not be that funny to other people.

The casting of Kiss Me, Stupid was quite excellent. Dean Martin was superb as Dino and I like that he was fine playing a parody version of himself as a total jerk. Dean Martin wasn’t a saint, but from what I’ve heard and read about him, he sounds like a genuinely nice guy. I know a guy who played softball with my Dad who was an extra in the movie Airport, and he told me that when he broke the rules for extras and went up to Dean to shake his hand, Dean took off the glove he was wearing before shaking hands. That’s always stuck with me as a classy thing to do. The role of Dino must have been written especially for Martin, and the line between real life and the movies is blurred as the beginning of the movie is just Martin’s usual nightclub act, filmed for the movie cameras as Dino’s act. Martin’s jokes at the beginning will be familiar to anyone who has heard recordings of his live act. One joke is about Bing Crosby, as Dino says, “Bing’s always so cool. That’s because he has $21 million dollars. On him.” The movie doesn’t include this line that would have fit with the smutty tone of the movie, but in live performance Martin would preface that joke by saying, “I ran into Bing and I said, ‘Hiya Bing, what’s up?’ He said, ‘Not much.’ Oh, you think that’s funny now, wait till you get home it’ll be hilarious!” The car that Dino drives is Martin’s own Dual Ghia, and when Barney talks about Dino’s hit songs, he’s naming Dean Martin’s hit songs. Martin was an extremely gifted comedian, and he makes the most of this part. My only complaint in that someone in wardrobe should have told Martin to unbutton the shirt he wears in the second half of the movie, as he almost always has it buttoned up all the way. Also, the boxy plaid jacket he wears over that shirt doesn’t do much for him. When he takes the jacket off, you can see what good shape he was in. Dean Martin was just awesome, and he had such a great voice. When Dino sings “Sophia” to Zelda just before they have sex in Polly’s trailer, his voice sounds so good. In order to get approval from the Motion Picture Production Code, an additional scene was filmed which shows Dino being bothered by a back problem as he is about to seduce Zelda, and it’s implied they don’t have sex. That footage was shown when Kiss Me, Stupid was originally released in the United States, but it’s since been replaced by the original cut of the scene, which fades out with Dino and Zelda in an embrace. 

Peter Sellers was originally cast as Orville Spooner, and he filmed for several weeks before he had a series of heart attacks, which very nearly killed him. Sellers was actually pronounced clinically dead in the hospital, but doctors were able to revive him. While on the set, Sellers clashed with director Billy Wilder. Sellers was replaced by Ray Walston, and shooting had to start over. No footage of Sellers as Orville seems to have survived. It would be interesting to see what Sellers’ interpretation of the role would have been. As much as I like Peter Sellers, and as funny as he was, I think that Ray Walston was better in the part than Sellers would have been. I know that might sound like heresy, but I think Walston was a better fit for Orville. Walston was such a normal, ordinary-looking guy that there’s a huge contrast between him and Dino, which the script needs in order for the movie to be funny. Peter Sellers always wanted to be a leading man, and he might have played the role more over the top in order to compete more with Dean Martin. You can argue that Walston played the role over the top, but it’s also written over the top. Ray Walston is really the star of Kiss Me, Stupid, as he has much more screen time than Martin or Kim Novak, and he does a great job. 

Kim Novak is one of my favorite actresses. I find a lot of movie actresses to be very pretty and beautiful, but there aren’t a lot of actresses that I find truly sexy. But I find Kim Novak extremely sexy. I’m not sure exactly what it is about her. I guess part of it, besides her obvious physical beauty, is that she feels more like a real person than say Marilyn Monroe, who always seemed to be obscuring herself behind the persona she created. I will always adore Kim Novak, despite the fact that she’s obviously had some bad plastic surgery work done. It surprises me that she’s had work done, because she always seemed to remove herself from Hollywood and the nonsense that sometimes surrounds movies. Novak is both beautiful and sexy as Polly, but I’m a little surprised that she took the part. Novak was a gifted actress, and I think she tried hard to be seen as more than just a pretty face. Which begs the question, why did she take a part that objectified her so much? As funny as Kiss Me, Stupid is, it’s a little uncomfortable to watch the way in which Novak’s body is exploited for laughs. Dean Martin’s character paws Polly as often as he can, and as much as a 1964 movie will allow him to do. In the parlance of 2014, Dino commits a lot of acts of microaggression towards Polly. Actually, it’s more like acts of macroaggression, as he literally can’t keep his hands off of her. Since Polly finds Dino so objectionable, and it’s clear that he just sees her as an object and not as a person, it’s not fun to watch her get felt up. 

Felicia Farr was well-cast as Zelda, who is pretty much the perfect wife and is really not deserving of Orville’s crazy jealousy. In real life, Farr was married to Jack Lemmon from 1962 until his death in 2001. According to IMDB and Wikipedia, Lemmon, a favorite of Billy Wilder’s, was offered the role of Orville Spooner, but had to decline due to other commitments. 

There are some other interesting facts about Kiss Me, Stupid. The movie was rated a “C” for “condemned” by the Catholic Legion of Decency, which meant that you would have to say a lot of Hail Marys and Our Fathers in order to cleanse yourself of the sin of having watched Dean Martin feel up Kim Novak. The songs that Barney and Orville write in the movie are actually by George and Ira Gershwin, incredibly enough. Wilder was a friend of Ira’s, and asked him if he would write some songs for the movie. Ira said yes and wrote lyrics for melody fragments that George had written but never used. The songs are quite witty, as “I’m a Poached Egg” features classic Ira Gershwin wordplay. 

If you’re in the mood for a 1960’s sex comedy, or are a fan of any of the lead actors, you should give Kiss Me, Stupid a try. Just don’t expect to be intellectually challenged.

Tyrone Power, Classic Hollywood Movie Star

Tyrone Power, 1914-1958.

Tyrone Power at the beginning of his movie career, mid 1930's.

Charles Laughton and Tyrone Power in Witness for the Prosecution, 1957.

Billy Wilder’s 1957 film Witness for the Prosecution, based on the play by Agatha Christie, was the last movie the popular matinee idol Tyrone Power completed before his death the following year. Witness for the Prosecution starred Power as a man on trial for murder, Charles Laughton as his defense attorney, and Marlene Dietrich as his wife. It’s an interesting movie, with especially good performances from Laughton and Power. Laughton plays Sir Wilfred Robarts, a defense attorney who is recovering from a heart attack, and his nurse Miss Plimsoll, (played by Laughton’s real-life wife Elsa Lanchester) is eager for Sir Wilfred to not take any new cases that might cause him to overexert himself. Then in walks Leonard Vole (Power) a man who is about to be arrested for the murder of an older widow who recently changed her will to make Vole the beneficiary of her estate. Vole protests his innocence, and Sir Wilfred, highly intrigued, agrees to take the case. Power is very effective because the actor playing Leonard Vole needs to be sympathetic and likable, and Power was both of those things. Since the end of the movie expressly told me not to reveal all of the surprises of the plot, I won’t say anything more about what happens. No spoiler alerts for 57 year old movies here!

I’m using Witness for the Prosecution as an excuse to write a short piece about Tyrone Power’s film career. I don’t claim to be an expert on Power’s career, as I’ve only seen three of his movies: Witness for the Prosecution, The Black Swan, and the excellent film noir Nightmare Alley. Power had an interesting, and highly successful, career. He was an extremely popular movie star for more than 20 years, from the mid 1930’s until his untimely death from a heart attack at the age of 44 in 1958.

Power was under contract to 20^th Century Fox for the majority of his career. Power’s striking good looks assured him of a substantial female fan base, and he quickly became one of the most popular matinee idols of the late 1930’s and early 1940’s. Power was an amazingly handsome man who won the genetic lottery big time with his thick dark hair, lively eyes, chiseled features, high cheekbones, dramatically arched eyebrows, and winning smile. Power acted in a great variety of movies, and he found success in many different film genres, including period dramas, light comedies, westerns, war movies, and swashbuckling action films. 

Although Power was an extremely popular movie star for a long time, I would wager that few people under the age of 50 today know who he was. Power’s long filmography is unfortunately not terribly distinguished. His movies, for whatever reason, have not made it into the canon of “great movies.” Power never won an Oscar. Indeed, he was never even nominated for an Oscar. He doesn’t have one signature performance that every movie fan has seen.

Power’s career is similar to that of his swashbuckling contemporary, Errol Flynn. Flynn was also a highly popular actor who might not be that well known today, but his turn as Robin Hood in 1938’s The Adventures of Robin Hood has entered the canon of “great movies” and probably remains his most well-known performance. Another actor who was similar to Power and Flynn was Robert Taylor-who was to MGM what Power was to 20^th Century Fox-namely, their handsome leading man who could also handle action films. Like Power, neither Flynn nor Taylor were ever nominated for an Oscar. 

Despite not receiving a lot of acclaim for his acting skills, Power actually was a fine film actor, and his performance in the gritty 1947 film noir Nightmare Alley is excellent. Unfortunately, because it was such a departure from his usual screen image, Nightmare Alley was not heavily promoted by Fox and flopped at the box office. Power had worked very hard to get Nightmare Alley made, and it was no doubt a great disappointment to him that Fox didn’t promote it whole-heartedly. It was difficult for Power to find roles that didn’t rely only on his good looks. During the 1950’s Power became more dissatisfied with the kind of movies he was offered, so he acted in plays more and more frequently.

Director Billy Wilder had extremely high praise for Power’s work in Witness for the Prosecution. He said of Power:

“He was one of those rare occurrences in Hollywood, he was an absolutely totally gentleman….He was excellent and professional and prepared and intelligent…totally impeccable in his professional life…The picture we did together was one of the few joys of my professional life.” (The Secret Life of Tyrone Power, by Hector Arce, p.269) 

In his personal life, Power was an excellent pilot, a skill that served him well during his World War II service in the Marines. Power flew missions carrying wounded troops out of Iwo Jima and Okinawa during 1945. Like many men of his generation, Power never bragged about his military service, but he was proud of it. After World War II ended, Power dated Lana Turner. According to Turner’s daughter Cheryl, Power was the love of Turner’s life. Unfortunately, they never married and split up. I think it’s unfortunate they didn’t have any kids together, because those children would have been amazingly good looking. 

The film critic Jeanine Basinger is a huge Tyrone Power fan, and she has a full chapter about Power’s life and career in her 2007 history of the Hollywood studio system, The Star Machine. Basinger thinks that Power was the best-looking man ever, and, tellingly, the section in the index with the most entries for Power is “physical beauty of.” Actress Alice Faye, who co-starred with Power in three movies, said of him, “All my life, I was asked what it was like to kiss Tyrone Power.” 

Tyrone Power would have turned 100 in May 2014. His good looks and charisma still jump off the screen, and he’s a movie star who should be better remembered today.