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| The striking cover of Squeeze Me, and the author Carl Hiaasen, 2020. |
Carl Hiaasen’s 2020 novel Squeeze Me offers up his signature cocktail of Florida dysfunction and biting social satire. An addition to the mix this time around is Hiaasen’s venomous portrait of the Former Occupant of the White House and his wife. Although the Former Occupant is never named in Squeeze Me, it’s not hard to discern who the object of Hiaasen’s scorn and derision is. (Hint: it’s not Barack Obama!) If you need another clue, I’ll tell you that a major plot point revolves around the Former Occupant’s personal tanning bed.
The plot of Squeeze Me is set in motion by the mysterious disappearance of Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, last seen attending a charity gala at a fashionable mansion. When Kiki Pew’s dead body is finally found, the case takes many twists and turns, and the Former Occupant stirs up trouble by falsely accusing an illegal immigrant of murder. Throw in a subplot about the First Lady, referred to here as “Mockingbird,” her Secret Service code name, having an affair with one of her Secret Service agents, and Squeeze Me is full of over-the-top wonderfulness.
One of my favorite lines in the novel occurred when a Secret Service officer asks his superior officer if perhaps the Former Occupant’s harebrained theory about what happened to Kiki Pew could actually be right. The officer responds: “Don’t you get it? It doesn’t fucking matter if he’s right or not. That’s the scary part.” (p.121) That’s precisely what worried me so much during those four long years of the Occupancy. The Former Occupant was never right, and it never seemed to fucking matter.
The main character in Squeeze Me is Angie Armstrong, who specializes in wildlife removal. She’s a likeable protagonist, and she’s helped by many colorful characters as she tries to unravel the mystery and make sure that justice prevails.
Squeeze Me is a fast and funny read, with some thrills along the way, and some laugh out loud lines as well.
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